I found a list that Chris and I filled out on my 1992 trip to visit
Charterhouse [when Christian was 17 years old].
"What makes Chris happy"
1. Daydreaming.
2. Sleeping.
3. Getting to one's goal.
4. Making friends.
5. Get togethers - parties with friends.
6. Holidays.
7. Seeing old mates after a long time.
8. Falling in love.
9. Sport - succeeding/excelling.
10. Being able to relax completely and be carefree.
11. Finishing large academic project.
13. Feeling free.
14. Shopping.
15. Reminiscing.
16. Listening to music.
17. Drawing.
18. Understanding.
19. Eating.
20. Sexuality.
21. Dancing.
22. Dangerousness... having done dangerous things.
23. Falling aspleep after serious physical exertion.
24. Laying in bath after long day with nice cold drink listening to
music.
25. Wearing new clothes for first time.
26. Being with family.
27. Being with certain girls at school.
28. Getting approval or recognition for what you've done.
29. Succeeding.
30. Compliments.
31. Health.
Pretty exhaustive I know, but I guess that's all we had to talk about that
summer!
I think of him often. I have done so much with my life and I feel that if I
was to check out tomorrow I would have no regrets about what I have
accomplished. I have three kids now (we just had twin boys, my wife and I) and
my life feels overly full sometimes, and he is just gone. It is a deep and
hollow resonance of sadness for what could have been, pleasures, pains and all.
I will never get over it and I will never stop replaying the memories of him in
my mind. I am somewhat consoled by the idea that Chris lived (and perhaps is
living) a fuller life in his short time than many people do with all their
years.
I hope this note finds you well otherwise. Best to you and your family.
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